Phascolarctos Taraxacum
by Nazmuko
Summary: Will and Helen are tracking down a cute but dangerous abnormal. Funny little piece with Helen/Will UST.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of the Sanctuary universe and make no money with this little hobby of mine. I do own my words and ideas, though.

**A/N:** This is my first Sanctuary fanfic ever and I'm nervous and excited about actually publishing this. I want to thank my friend/roommate whom I shall just call M here. Couldn't have done this without you!

This one's a humorous oneshot with lots of Helen/Will UST. If it makes you laugh, I've reached my goal. Of course it would be super cool if you could take a few seconds and let me know if you liked the story. Or didn't like. All feedback is appreciated so please, let me know.

English is not my first language and I take full credit(=blame) for all the mistakes since I'm too shy to let someone beta my stories.

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"Will," Helen said firmly and snapped her fingers in front of her protégé whose eyes had glazed over and his mouth hung slightly open.

"Uh..." His brow furrowed when he realized he'd been practically drooling over his boss. "Sorry, Magnus," he apologized with an awkward smile.

"It's quite alright, Will." Her smile was genuine and there was nothing awkward or shy about her, despite the fact that she was wearing nothing but her black underwear. Maybe a hint of urgency in her voice but Will couldn't remember where that could come from.

They had been searching for a cute but dangerous abnormal in the mountains somewhere in Mexico, Will remembered. They had found the koala looking creature and followed it into a cave when it had attacked Magnus just when she was about to shoot it with a tranquilizer. She had quickly shredded off her poison soaked clothes, using her knife, just in time before the acid venom got through the fabric and onto her skin.

"If I remember correctly," Helen started. "You were going to give me your shirt." Her eyebrows rose ever so slightly and she extended her hand, waiting for the piece of clothing. If Will hadn't known better, he might have thought she was amused.

"Right," Will mumbled. He quickly unbuttoned the shirt and gave it to Helen.

"Thank you." Helen didn't bother to turn around when she started to button up the shirt and Will's eyes automatically followed her delicate fingers. When he realized he'd been staring again, he cleared his throat and shook his head before he searched for Helen's eyes. To his surprise her eyes were already fixed on his.

"You know," Will started, feeling he had to say something to avoid an awkward moment. "You look pretty good for... you know. Hundred and sixty."

"Hundred and fifty-eight," Helen corrected and buttoned the last button. "And thank you."

"You still keep record?"

"Women always do," she said with a hint of smile.

"Right..."

"May I use your radio? I believe mine is still attached to my vest." Helen glanced at the pile of clothes on the ground. The acid had already made holes in some of them and most of her equipment was damaged beyond repair. Her flashlight seemed unharmed and she quickly picked it up.

"Sure." Will unclipped the radio from his belt and gave it to Magnus, flashing her another awkward smile when their fingers touched and he didn't pull his hand back right away.

"Henry, come in."

_"What's up, boss?"_

"Minor adversity. Could you meet us at the cave we saw earlier?"

_"Sure. Everyone OK?"_

"We're alright. Take the bio hazard equipment with you."

_"It attacked you guys?"_

"Yes. But we're fine."

_"Did you catch it?"_

"Not yet."

_"Alright. I'll be there in a few. I'll bring the cage."_

"Thank you, Henry."

_"Sure boss."_

"Not YET?" Will repeated when he got the radio back.

"It's a rare abnormal and it's been terrorizing the area for too long. We have to catch it, Will."

"What if it attacks again? Neither of us is properly clothed if you haven't noticed." He motioned towards his own bare torso.

"I noticed. The creature needs 45 minute recovery time between poison attacks. That means we have 35 more minutes on our advantage."

"Well then. After you," Will motioned towards the tunnel that led further into the mountain.

"How about you give me a gun first? I'm afraid my gun is no use at the moment and Phascolarctos Taraxacum can cause severe damage even without its poison."

"I still don't understand how you can pronounce names like that," Will said absentmindedly and pulled a pistol from his ankle holster. "Can't it be shortened or something?" He handed the gun to Magnus.

"Any suggestions?" Helen checked the gun and ammo and glanced at Will quickly. "These all tranqs?"

"Yep. You said we wouldn't need else. How about just 'acid koala'?"

"Tranqs are good. I've caught one of these abnormals before."

"No comment on the nickname, huh?"

"You can call it whatever you want, Will. I, however, will stick with the official name for now. Ready to go?" Magnus nodded towards the tunnel.

"Sure."

They headed into the darkness, Helen leading the way. Will's couldn't help his gaze wandering to her legs which just went on and on. The shirt she was wearing was short for an only piece of clothing and if she'd bend forward just a little, he could see- "You are aware," Helen started in her best 'boss'-voice, interrupting his train of thought. "That I can see where your flashlight is aimed, Doctor Zimmerman?"

Will cleared his throat again, ashamed about the fact that she'd caught him three times in a short time. "So, what are we expected to find in this tunnel, Magnus?"

"I have a hunch it has made a nest somewhere in here. That means there must be a larger cave somewhere along this tunnel."

"I didn't know koalas live in caves."

"Only this species. Actually, apart from the way it looks, it has very little in common with its Australian cousins. This species normally makes a nest in a cave, above or under ground."

"Right... So we're walking straight into its home. Through the front door, I may add. Doesn't sound like a good plan to me."

"There's no other door, Will. And it made the last trip to the villagers' food storage two days ago so it has plenty of food stashed somewhere in these tunnels. It's going to take weeks before it's hungry enough to come out. We can't just sit around the entrance and wait."

"I know, it's just that-" Will's sentence was cut short when the beam of his flashlight, that had been following the wall of the tunnel, suddenly disappeared. Helen stopped abruptly and Will almost walked into her. In the process his flashlight had turned to point towards the ground. "So it's not broken," he mumbled and lifted the lamp one more time to determine why the light disappeared in front of him.

"Will," Helen whispered and pushed his hand down, stopping him from sweeping through the space with the flashlight. The hand then came to his shoulder and gently turned him ninety degrees to the right.

"Wow," Will sighed when he took in the sight. The cave was enormous, the flashlight simply couldn't find the walls within its range. There were cracks in the ceiling, letting some sunlight in. Something white and fluffy was covering the floor like a thick carpet, piling into mountains that reached to his waist, small clouds raising up in the air under their steps as thy wandered further into the cave. In the middle of the cave there was an old tree that looked very majestic in the dim lighting. Underneath that was a large rock, maybe four feet high, and on top of that rock sat the creature he had dubbed as 'Acid Koala'.

It really looked like a koala: Big ears, thick fur, all-in-all a cute little creature you wanna hug the moment you see it. Apart from the annoying habit of spitting acid venom, of course. It had huge, brown eyes that were staring at them right now with an adorable 'Who? Me?' -look in them. The koala made a quiet burping sound and a little cloud of the white, dust-like substance appeared from its mouth. It floated in the air like...

"Taraxacum," Will said out loud, suddenly certain he had heard the word before. "That's Latin for... Dandelion, right?"

Helen nodded. "Quite descriptive species name, I would say," she said with a little smile.

"Dandelion koala," Will thought out loud. "What's with the white fluffy stuff?"

"The Phascolarctos Taraxacum has a very unique digestion system. They can only process a small amount of fibers every day so they burp the rest up among other substances their body can not process or take advantage of."

"Like cats with their hairballs."

"Exactly."

They stared at the creature, thinking about their next move when Will's radio crackled._  
"Boss, everything OK?"_

Will handed the radio to Helen. "We're about a hundred meters further in the tunnel, Henry."

_"Everything OK? You need backup or something?"_

"We're fine for now. That might change soon."

_"You found the nest?"_

"Yes."

_"Sweet! I'll take a few samples and then head your way. That OK, boss?"_

"Sure. Make sure your gun is loaded. I have a bad feeling about this."

_"Tranqs?"_

"Yes."

_"OK. I'll see you soon, boss. Stay safe."_

"We'll do our best."

"So," Will asked. "What's our fight plan?"

"I can't get a good shot from this distance with this little light. We have to get closer."

"We still have 15 minutes"

"I'm more worried about the claws than the venom at the moment."

"How about we split up a little and try to sneak closer? It can't attack us both at the same time."

"That might work."

"Alright then." Will too few slows steps to his right while Magnus slowly moved to her left, both keeping their eyes on the creature and weapons ready. The koala blinked but didn't react to their movements otherwise.

Will glanced at Magnus who nodded, giving him an OK for moving forward. They both started to take slow steps towards the middle of the cave. When they had taken four steps, the creature let out an ear splitting scream. They froze to their spots, both guns aimed at the creature but it didn't attack them. Instead it jumped to the tree and quickly climbed on the branch, eying them suspiciously.

"That was unexpected," Will commented.

"Extremely."

"Why would it do that?"

"I believe it is planning to gather its strength for another poison attack on a safer ground."

"So now what?"

"We're running out of time, I'm afraid."

"Can't we just shoot it in the three?"

"With the rock underneath, it's unlikely to survive the fall."

"So there goes that plan," Will shrugged.

"However," Helen started, measuring the distance and the creature with her gaze. "It might work if either of us would catch it when it falls."

"And by either of us you mean me," Will stated the obvious. "How much does that thing weigh?"

"About ten kilos, give or take."

"And that's the only way to get it?"

"Not the only way, Will. Just the only safe one, I'm afraid."

"Okay then. Ready when you are."

They started to approach the tree slowly, both still keeping their aim at the creature. They reached the rock without complications.

"Now what?" Will asked, keeping his gun aimed at the koala.

"Holster your gun and climb on the rock."

"Magnus..."

"I have your back, I promise."

"Adventure of many lifetimes," Will mumbled while he climbed on top of the rock and positioned himself under the branch. "Alright, I'm ready. Shoot."

What happened next, Will wasn't sure. Well he was sure about the part that Magnus' bullet hit the abnormal and it fell. His best guess was it fell on the wrong side of the branch and he had to reach out to catch it. Regardless of the cause, the consequence was that he slipped off the rock, the unconscious koala in his arms.

Will managed to land on his feet but struggled to stay standing on the soft, uneven ground. Magnus reached out to help him and half a second later all three we laying on the ground in the middle of the white, fluffy fiber-stuff which covered the whole place. Will was on his back, squeezing the koala against the left side of his chest. Right side was covered with Magnus, sprawled partly on top of him, her forehead against his shoulder.

"Everyone OK?" Helen asked and pulled her head back to look at Will and the koala.

"I'm fine," Will sighed and glanced at the creature. "And the flower bear here seems fine, too. I can feel it breathing."

"Good." Helen lowered her head on his shoulder again, deciding to get her pulse under control before she tried to get up.

"Uh, Magnus," Will started. "Tell me that's your sidearm against my thigh. Or is there something you haven't told me?"

Helen chuckled against his skin and pulled the gun out from where it was buried between them. She placed it next to Will's head with a smile he might have thought to be flirty under any other circumstances.

Suddenly a beam of a flashlight wiped over them.

"Uh, Doc? Everything OK?" Henry asked as he walked closer. Helen rolled off of Will.

"Am I interrupting something?" Henry's flashlight aimed at Will's face and shirtless chest, then at Magnus who had just managed to sit up. Her hair was a mess and full of small white flakes and she was only wearing Will's shirt and her combat boots.

"Venom attack," Magnus said with a pointed look. "Not a roll in the hay, Henry."

"None of my business, boss." Henry lifted up the container he'd brought with him. "A temporary home for the poisonous plush toy," he said with a proud grin. Proud of inventing the acid proof container or coming up with that nickname, Will wasn't sure.

"Will, hand over the flower bear, would you?" Helen got up and tried to brush off the fiber-fluff from her shirt and hair. "It might wake up soon."

"Ha!" Will pointed at her and sat up, cradling the koala in his arms, a victorious smile on his face. She had used a nickname, _his_ nickname, not the Latin species name.

"What?" Henry asked and helped Will put the creature into the box. "You know it's not technically a bear, right?"

Oh, that only made it more sweet, Will thought and the smile on his face got a little wider. He risked one glance at Helen who shamelessly winked at him. He had to use all his willpower not to burst into laughter. He had the best job in the whole world.

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A/N: That's it! Let me know what you think.


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